Friend, everybody and their dog and their dog’s pet cat writes a blog. Why? We all desire to be connected, to share our journeys and hope that perhaps our journeys will bless others out there. I obviously do not write frequently (even though it used to be my passion) and though it seems like a romantic idea to become a top blog…I don’t really care about that. I don’t have TIME for that. LOL! Who does!?
Anyways, to the topic. In a hand full of days, it will be my 7 year wedding anniversary. I used to not think that was a big deal. Seven years. *Shrug* Big deal. There are older people who have been married for 70 years. People my age though…they seem impressed. We, my husband and I, have also seen friend after friend get divorced over the years. Everything will have seemed fine and the next thing we know, those friends are announcing their divorce on Facebook and other social media. Bizarrely both angry and proud about it. I won’t go into my thoughts of some women on-line bragging about single momming it as if that is what some of them aspired to all along. Only shaming the pride and bragging, not the singleness. Or all the divorce celebration parties and photography sessions I’ve seen pop up. *Sigh* Maybe that’s the world you live in…fine, but if you are wanting something more…maybe my story will interest you. Disclaimer…I am not trying to judge or put down. My heart just really aches for all the people hurt by marriages falling apart. Seriously, I cry every time someone I know has to go through that. Also…I don’t know what I’m doing at all. I don’t know it all and I’m not perfect. I am a Christian though and that relationship with Christ is what drives and sustains me. Soooo now that we have that out of the way I really just want to share my story with you about how my husband and I met and the journey we’ve been on in celebration of 7 years of marriage and a hope for many more.
My husband and I have been together for 9 years and married after a somewhat rocky dating relationship. We met at Emporia State University where we both were seeking teaching degrees in science. ( I will never let him live down that he failed Chemistry while dating a Chemistry major. Homework was never on his mind around me for some reason.) Of course, I noticed him here and there in our “How to teach science in secondary education” course, because he wore hats and I LOOOOOOVE hats. We never talked much there; however, because I helped run a college worship service right after class each week. One night though, our little college church group decided to visit the campus Christian cafe. My friends went upstairs to pick out board games to play and I found myself distracted while ordering drinks as I overheard the guy from my class talking to another guy I knew who had disappeared and was all of a sudden back in town from a mission trip building schools in Africa (a dream of mine). My “future husband” alert went off in my brain and I jumped into their conversation. Simeon invited us to prayer walks around campus. Even though they were at 4 am, gasp! and COLD, I decided to go. Even though they had a good group going each week, I was the only one to show up along with Simeon that day. Even though the time was just spent praying for others, by the end of the walk I was more excited to know him (though my goodness, he could get long winded). He gave me a hug good-bye and offered me a free coffee if I came and saw him at work at Starbucks that morning. (HE LIKES ME!!!) So I stopped by his work and it turned out…this guy is just a hugger. He hugs everybody and offers lots of people free drinks for stopping by. Face palm. Okay.
At some point his guy invites me to go to a food festival with him at the college. I was excited to be asked and to go. Again, I arrived and it was just the two of us which was what I expected. It was NOT what he expected. Simeon was a social butterfly (can men be social butterflies?) and knew a lot of people and had expected a larger crew. He acted distant and uninterested the entire time. He told me later he was looking for everybody and was trying to figure out where they all went. The conversation was definitely lacking and we were not clicking. Despite our awkward dinner, he invited me back to the dorms to spend time with the rest of the crew who apparently had forgotten the festival. I’m thinking he still must like me, but must be shy at talking one on one. He then spent the rest of the time talking to another girl in another room the whole time I was there! LOL. I was so confused, but spent time getting to know the other people in the room. Well, after many hang outs, game nights, and Simeon also being confused about who he should pursue and who I was really interested in (HIM!), something clicked and so began our relationship.
We actually broke up 3 times. Yes, three. The first two were for sure my fault, because this guy confused me as he was more of a…free flowing character and I was very much, well…not. He wanted to hold hands in class…oh my goodness Simeon that is SO unprofessional! *snicker* Also, he wanted to get married right away aaaand that much certainty just freaked me out. I was going through a bad depression from past events, but he stuck with me. His selflessness and determination won me over. His love for Christ, his hopes and dreams…I wanted to be a part of it. And those blue eyes. I’m still in love with those blue eyes. But to be honest, I did not get married because of a floating enchanted feeling of butterflies in my stomach. And I will tell you that this is DESPITE me being told by nearly everyone I asked that was how they “knew” their spouse was the “one”. I married Simeon, because God showed me his potential and his goodness and I knew I wanted Simeon as a life partner. I knew he would balance me. So I thought with all the breakups and depression and well thought through decisions that I was walking into marriage with my eyes wide open about the realness and difficulty of marriage. HAHAHAHAHAHA. ahem. Okay.
Are you still with me? I’m going to share too much. I’m going to share too much BECAUSE life right now is so mirrors and smoke aaaand it needs to stop. People need to have more realistic expectations and not be scared of the messy parts of life or the communal struggle through those messy parts of life. It is not meant to be fought through alone. Some things I share might be pretty heavy. I’m not quite sure how I feel about everybody I know knowing so many details of my life, because I keep my struggles pretty under wraps. I don’t like people judging me. It definitely makes me feel vulnerable and exposed…but how else can I help other people if I don’t lay it out there. If you are prepared for that, I will post another post soon, but for now…I have to feed my kids. Apparently, they need fed to live or something. 😉
Let me know your thoughts.